What does falling down the rabbit hole really mean? Well, in Alice in Wonderland it meant falling down into a bizarre world of wonderland. A strange and different reality for Alice. Today it can also mean being so distracted by something, to the point of obsessing about it, that our “real work” is left undone.
So then what is our real work? Part of our real work is what we do on a daily basis in order to pay our bills or help pay our bills. The other part of our real work lies in who we are and what we define as our purpose in life.
For instance, I work as an accountant. My real job deals with numbers, balance sheets, and clients. Being an accountant isn’t necessarily what I saw myself doing for a career, but becoming an accountant was a decision that I made and worked very hard to fully realize. It helps to pay the bills. The part I like most about my job is my clients. I like being able to help people that want and need my help. The other part of my real work lies in how I see myself and what purpose I serve in my life, and in other people’s lives. Over time I think a person’s true purpose becomes clearer to them. I did not always know what I was meant to do with my life. Even if I didn’t exactly get the career part perfect, I feel I am pretty close to knowing exactly what my true purpose is.
Part of my purpose is to be a wife. Now I know that will not sit well for some and I want you to know that it’s ok. It’s my purpose, not a purpose. I enjoy being a wife on so many levels. Being a wife didn’t come easily to me. I didn’t get married until I was almost 30. I loved the single life if you know what I mean. Marriage to me meant/ is monogamy and more than just the obvious it was hard for me to believe one person could make me happy forever. I also didn’t like having to consider another person for every decision and choice that I made. Because I had experienced making poor choices in previous relationships I was scared I wouldn’t get it right when choosing a marital partner. And then, of course, I was scared if I did make a poor choice what divorce would do to me. In a sense everytime I thought of marriage I fell down the proverbial rabbit hole. Eventually, I made the decision to get married to someone that I’d fallen in love with and soon we will have been together twenty-four years. Being someone’s wife has been one of the best things to happen to me. I’ve learned how to consider another, sacrifice for another, be satisfied and patient with another and I’ve learned to stay–not run away when things get hard. Things I never did as a girlfriend. I’ve worked out how to be a best friend, how to be faithful in all things, how to say I’m sorry, and how to be humbled by someone. Living as my husband’s true partner, friend, love, and lifetime mate is truly part of my purpose in life.
Another purpose of mine is writing. I’ve been writing since I was about twelve years old. I started by writing poems and by fifteen I’d had a couple of my poems published. Writing is almost a need for me. If it wasn’t for my fear of grammatical errors I would write all the time. Alas, I don’t always feel comfortable with what I’ve written due to punctuation and grammar–sentence structure and everything good writing requires. I write for a number of reasons with need being the biggest reason. A secondary reason for my writing has always been to help someone. I like being useful to people. I feel better if I’ve shared something with someone rather than keep something that may be helpful to myself. Along with how I see myself and the purposes in life I feel are mine –there is how the people in my circle see me and what purpose I serve them. As a friend, I am non-judgemental, supportive, and open-minded. As an accountant, I am a hard worker who pays close attention to detail and her client’s wishes and requests. As a complete stranger in the street, you will find I’m courteous, friendly, and polite. I say “thank you”, “please”, “excuse me” and I hold doors open for young, old, male and female.
But who am I when I am distracted? I am none of these things. I get distracted by the news, my daily newspaper, IG, FB, and Pinterest. I have been known to sit for several hours and veg out on my IG feed. Beautiful things soothe me, I cannot lie. And if I am soothed aren’t I a better person? Maybe? I do know this–when I am distracted I’m not involved in any activity that represents any of my true purposes. Sometimes distraction can lead one down the rabbit hole. Suddenly nothing looks or feels the same way anymore. Living a bizarre, and totally distracted life become the new norm. I love IG but does anyone else feel like a total failure after about an hour of scrolling through their feed? What can be done about that? Well, a good dose of reality is a good start. I have to remind myself that what I am seeing is their purpose, and is their purpose also my purpose? See above–no. My purpose is being a wife, accountant, friend, and writer. So, I reel in the envy because I don’t have time to fall down any rabbit holes.
The worst part of distraction is getting lost. Losing yourself completely to something or someone that isn’t in your circle or in any part, part of your purposes. Once lost, and without the bearings of your true purpose, it is hard to make your way back. Over the past several months the news has turned me into a cynical, angry, often times irrational person. That is not who I am. And personally, I don’t like that person at all. Should I not watch the news? Well, I’m too curious to not watch the news. What should I do? Most of the time what I do is simply pray. I also sit back and listen. I listen to my husband, friends, and co-workers as they try to work the news out. It’s all I can do right now. When something comes up that I can participate in, I take action. Complacency is not my friend.
You know Alice fell down the rabbit hole because in her mind her life was ho-hum, nothing too remarkable– her young life seemed to lack purpose. Though there isn’t a moral to her story, Alice upon falling down the rabbit hole did begin to look for a way back home. Perhaps feeling that her life wasn’t so bad after all. There is nothing wrong with looking at pretty pictures on IG or getting angry with the news. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting off track for a period of time as long as you get back on track. Delays and interruptions are a part of our lives. Our purposes may be the same but they’re also very different. Don’t lose yourself in someone else’s life, don’t lose yourself by becoming so filled with envy, or anger that you don’t recognize yourself.
Realize your true purpose and live your true intent. If you can– add in a bit of humility, kindness, and grace. Hold on to who you are but also allow some of the world’s harsh realities to take hold and empower you to do what is right.
Noun- the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
Verb- have as one’s intention or objective.
Until next time–all my best!